My Story

I was born on a Monday…lol. Ok we won’t go back that far. But I feel compelled to give you a bit of my story so you know me and where I’m coming from.

My childhood was not typical back in the 70s and 80s. I was moved around alot between both parents, grandparents, my Aunt, and even lived with the neighbors for a while. My mom was an alcoholic who would go on weeks long binges leaving my sister and I behind when it got too hard to drag us along. Sadly, that is a typical childhood for many children in these last days we live in. That is why I’m passionate about becoming the best mom I can be!

Sadly, that is a typical childhood for many children in these last days we live in.

My teen years slowed down to where I was able to go to the same high school all 4yrs. My teens is when the addictive behavior started with drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes. I became pregnant at 19 and clueless. Lexi is my oldest at 23 yrs old now. Most of the time it felt like she was my sister rather than my daughter as I had alot of partying to do.

 

At age 26 and many years into addiction with marijuana now on top of the others. I became pregnant with identical twin girls. I cleaned up best I could except for them cigarettes. I lost both babies at 7 months pregnant, they had a disease in the womb that effects twins. Twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. It was hard and there will more on that in a later post.

I know addiction all too well and the ugliness of it

That loss sent me into more addiction where I would now throw in occassional cocaine use and pain killers as well. By 33 I had 2 marriages, a long term relationship with 2 “step-sons” and now a every weekend cocaine habit and a daily addiction to vicodin or anything that would come close.

At that time I looked for help at a Methadone Clinic where they kept me higher there than on the streets. You pay them weekly and they give you your “dose” daily. It seemed like they weren’t interested in helping me, rather getting my money. That doesn’t mean I’m saying that there isn’t help out there, but for me there needed to be a in-patient detox/withdrawal program to really help me. But little did I know know that it’s at your rock bottom that God can shine brighter than ever!

I met my husband 4 days after stopping the methadone clinic. We would never seperate after that. He was into marijuana and alcohol. We moved out of town to the lake at my dad’s with Lexi. Getting away from the infuences and going somewhere where no one really knows you is helpful to quitting destructive addictive behavior. It’s not ideal for most, but God was blessing me even then. I became pregnant with my middle child, Abigail and found a church and church family that embraced me and didn’t judge me. God has been slowly growing me and changing me into what He sees fit. I’m totally grateful for it.