Chronic Pain

For the last seven days I have been in what people refer to as chronic pain. A pulled muscle in my neck along with a separate pulled muscle in my shoulder(deltoid muscle) has been in the forefront of mind day and night. I’m finally on the other side of it, but it left an impression on my heart.

I’ve been reminded of those that struggle with addictions, or depression that leads them to addiction. Those out there that still have that small voice (their conscious) telling them not to use, not to deceive others, and not to continue down the path they’re on. Yet they do it anyhow.

I was one of those people before I came to Christ. I would hear the voice of reason in my heart, but I would ignore it every single time. As time wore on and the battles tore me down, battles I created for myself, I would become used to the pain. I didn’t know what life was like without pain. I had no clue what sober felt like. What was on the other side of the pain I dealt with?

When dealing with chronic physical pain, one learns how to live with it. How to accommodate the pain. For example, I slept on the couch with a footstool pushed up to the side so that my arm could extend out from my body. This position didn’t look like it made sense, as a matter of fact my husband woke me to ask me why was I on the couch. My response was, it doesn’t hurt this way.

A long day of drinking followed by a night of cocaine and music may be just prescription for the addict to get away from the chronic pain. But just like when I woke on the couch still in pain, the addict wakes the next morning sober and in pain.

Do you know someone in this type of cycle? Do you judge them in your heart, thinking they know better, why do they do it? With your arms folded and your nose in the air, do you swear off speaking to them until they get their act right? I think I can say we have all been in this position, with or without our perfect noses in the air.

What if we woke them from their slumber and asked them why are you living life this way? Or what if we woke them asked if there was anything we could do to make the pain better?

There is residual trace of the pain in my neck and shoulder. There are moments when it doesn’t ache and feels just like I begged God for those sleepless nights. I think back to the days of what seemed like pain that would never end and I cannot remember the pain the way it felt.  God will do this for the addict as well. I look back on my days of using, lying and cheating; I don’t feel the pain of those days as I used to. I don’t even feel the shame of the choices I made like I used to. The memory is there but the physical pain is gone.

Beetreegathering Bee-utiful Award

Deb at Beetreegathering made this award recently. She has already nominated two of my favorite bloggers. I’ve been nominated by Stu…my good old blogger friend, who has followed me since I started writing. Thanks Stu, you rock!

The purpose of this award is to nominate a fellow beautiful blogger who has been a cornerstone in the building of your blog. So I nominate, my Kathy.

So much healing has come to me by writing and sharing on here. When I first came along Kathy found me, or I found her. Either way we became connected. I was always needing a mother figure no matter where I went in life and that was the case here on WordPress. Kathy is my Blog mom. Lol.

She has never once had a negative things to say when commenting on my writings. She would and still does, include scripture in her comments, which makes her bee-utiful to me. She is a positive light. And she isn’t just this way with me. I have read her encouraging comments on several other’s blogs. She is faithful in who she is and what she believes. She does not waver.

Her blog is filled with encouragement. I have yet to read of a day where she’s discouraged and down in the dumps. I have yet to read of her fears or anxieties. Her blog is bee-utiful because it is thoughtfully planned out to always be a light, just like My Kathy.

So thank you, Kathy. I bestow this award upon you. The conditions of this award are as follows… In order to accept the award, you must nominate someone else who you find is a cornerstone to your writing/blog.

The cornerstone (or foundation stone or setting stone) is the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation. All other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure. according to Wikipedia

Beetreegathering Bee-utiful Award

Deb at Beetreegathering made this award recently. She has already nominated two of my favorite bloggers. I’ve been nominated by Stu…my good old blogger friend, who has followed me since I started writing. Thanks Stu, you rock!

The purpose of this award is to nominate a fellow beautiful blogger who has been a cornerstone in the building of your blog. So I nominate, my Kathy.

So much healing has come to me by writing and sharing on here. When I first came along Kathy found me, or I found her. Either way we became connected. I was always needing a mother figure no matter where I went in life and that was the case here on WordPress. Kathy is my Blog mom. Lol.

She has never once had a negative things to say when commenting on my writings. She would and still does, include scripture in her comments, which makes her bee-utiful to me. She is a positive light. And she isn’t just this way with me. I have read her encouraging comments on several other’s blogs. She is faithful in who she is and what she believes. She does not waver.

Her blog is filled with encouragement. I have yet to read of a day where she’s discouraged and down in the dumps. I have yet to read of her fears or anxieties. Her blog is bee-utiful because it is thoughtfully planned out to always be a light, just like My Kathy.

So thank you, Kathy. I bestow this award upon you. The conditions of this award are as follows… In order to accept the award, you must nominate someone else who you find is a cornerstone to your writing/blog.

The cornerstone (or foundation stone or setting stone) is the first stone set in the construction of a masonry foundation. All other stones will be set in reference to this stone, thus determining the position of the entire structure. according to Wikipedia

Attacks of the Enemy

You know, I hate to even capitalize enemy up there in the title, but proper English is something we writers just gotta have. I am hoping this post helps another….

I am 99% sure I have been getting attacked by the enemy. (There, now he doesn’t get his capital letter!) I wanted to write a poem to tell him and his goons off, but the pain I’ve been dealing with has taken my creativity away for today. Can I simply talk you? Can you relate?

While the world around me is covid crazy with this new strand, I’ve been dealing with odd, unusual, for me, health junk.

It first started with my gallbladder giving me pressure and then pain in late September. Then I had a colonoscopy to check on the ibs I’ve had all my life. I waited on the gall bladder surgery for a month. I was told it’s a piece of cake. After.4 days you should be good.

I came out of the surgery extremely nauseous and out of it feeling. It took many hours to come around enough to stand and go home. After those 4 days, I continued to have high levels of post operative pain. If I could just lay flat for a couple weeks and not move is what I thought to myself most days. It took 3 weeks to get back to where I didn’t have to take Advil to get through a day. So much for a piece of cake.

There would then be something here or there. A headache, a bad menstrual cycle complete with all the perimenopause symptoms you could think of. Two weeks ago one Thurs morning I woke and walked to the kitchen. I fell into the wall. I was spinning so wildly that I somewhat scaled the wall feeling my way back to my bed. From there, I could not lift my head off the pillow or roll over without a severe feeling of spinning to the point of becoming nauseous.

The last two days I’ve spent in intense pain in neck. I get a neck and shoulder cramp once a year or so, but never to the point of walking the living room crying. Here I am tonight laying on a heating pad after spending a day with a Tens unit attached to my neck. (Those sure do alleviate the pain while on but do not rid you of the pain)

I’ve been mad today. Discouraged today. Fed up today. I know some of it is consequences of choices I’ve made. I shouldn’t have sat so long the other night hunched over working on a crochet project. And had I not ate like I did all those years, my gallbladder wouldn’t have needed removed. The vertigo was a result of being out on my side during that surgery…so the doctor said that day. But the intensity of each even is where I know I’m being attacked.

My thought today was this….”So this is how the spirit of infirmity really works. It paralyzes you with physical pain, mental worry over that pain, and spiritually drains you if you’re not staying prayed up”

That is your word of encouragement. That paragraph above. Sometimes half the battle is just knowing what you’re fighting, I guess.

I’m not going to give up on loving God, chasing God wholeheartedly, and telling others what He’s done for me. He always gets a capital letter no matter where he is in my writing! He sees me, He knows me, and He loves me. He has not left me and He knows what I’m capable of handling. So tomorrow is hope that this pain in the neck is gone and I can continue to be about my Father’s business.

Most Viewed Post in 2021. 1 Peter 5:6-10

This will be the 4th time I’ve posted This poem, so I can see how it would be viewed a lot.

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Are you sober? Are you vigilant, keeping an eye on your six?

Your adversary has plans to put your soul in a tangled fix.

Walking about, seeking whom he may devour for his next snack.

Can you feel the hot blows of the lion as he breathes down your back?

That big ole nasty cat likes to play many games

And he knows each and every one of you by your names.1 Peter 5 8_9.jpgUpon whom can you cast all your cares?

Disapproval, anger, sin, financial affairs…

Humble yourselves and let the Lord be your remedy

For not one of us is exempt from this prowling enemy.

Each time you let God fight and be the strength to see you through…

After ye have suffered a while, the God of all grace will make you

perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.

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By Amy Blount Jan 2019

For my dear sister, Kerry who asked me to write about this scripture.

2nd Most Viewed Post of 2021

I do love this one. I still remember the day of writing it. I reposted it this year but originally wrote it in 2018, I think. Whenever I hear the phrase “a flick of the wrist” I immediately think of this poem and the imagery that goes along with it.

I originally started my blog to reach women who had had abortions in the past or were thinking about having one. Poetry was furthest from my mind at that time. I do see now how poetry has helped me heal, helped encourage others, and ultimately praises God. Enjoy this poem. With covid spiking back up and nerves getting frazzled as we fear more of this unknown…may this poem be a daily reminder that He does have the whole world in His hands.

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Oh Lord how I wonder how large are your hands.

Can you really cause them to rest upon all our lands?

With a thumb on one coast and a pinky on another shore.

Grasping our earth, dominion over it all, to its inner core.

With a flick of your wrist, you swat off meteors headed earth’s way.

Like a filter, your hand protects us from the sun’s fierce rays.

And all the while your hand is making these decisions,

your steady hand is guiding a surgeon as he makes his incision.

How can hands so large be upon the tinniest of cells.

Purifying and replenishing where cancer finds its place to dwell.

Oh Ancient of Days, oh Son of Man,

Majestic Messiah, The Lion and The Lamb…

Have Your miracle working, powerfully protecting, loving hand

upon all of our lives. Upon all of hearts, may You always stand!

 

 

3rd Most Viewed Post of 2021

THE GLADIUS

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With each step I take there’s a distinct sound.

Metal upon metal stomping the ground.

My getup, to some, may look a fright.

The reason for it, is what’s creeping after me in the night.

I wear a helmet to protect my mind….

reminding me my salvation is one of a kind.

To keep my heart in always doing right,

a plate is placed it around nice and tight.

I’m able to stand prepared, flexible, and erect.

In my belt, truth is all you’ll detect.

Hard ground and rough terrain

has taught me that in peace my feet must remain.

Deflecting darts, I carry my shield…

reminding myself my faith is sealed.

Each piece of my armor are only for defense.

To protect, guard and behave like a fence…

But my two-edged sword is something to be feared,

for with it I can take down any harmful thing that comes near.

An original work by Amy Blount 2018

The Roman sword

The sword used by Roman soldiers was known as a gladius; and in the hands of a skilled man, it was a fearsome weapon. In fact, it became known as “the sword that conquered the world.” It was sharpened on both sides, making it lethal against an unarmored foe. The point was also sharpened, enabling it to pierce armor.

An infantryman in the Roman legions would also go into battle with a dagger, a few spears and possibly a few darts. But the gladius was the only offensive weapon listed by Paul, and it was the main weapon in the soldier’s arsenal.

Found at Lifehopeandtruth.com

4th Most Viewed Post on A New Life

The 4th most read post was Florida. It is the 1st of 3 posts concerning when my mother was on life support and I had to go to Florida to take care of the DNR and end of life matters. Florida Day 2 and Florida-The End are the 2 posts that go along with it. Mom was a poem I wrote before going down there. Mom’s Memorial was about when we spread her ashes.

On this matter, I would like to thank my WordPress family and friends for your support during the hard times. You always have such nice thoughts and ideas to help me through. From scriptures to promised prayers…I’m thankful for it all.

FLORIDA

We made it here. We flew 2hrs into Orlando/Sanford. When we landed we couldn’t get a car rental anywhere. We stood outside the airport with many others who were all on their phones calling all the cab services, and Uber. Each time we would get to put our info in on Uber we’d lose connection and have start all over. Right when we were about to panic a ride from Lyft came through. He was willing to drive us 2 hrs from 11pm til 130 in the morning. It is now 3:30 and although my body is exhausted from the anxiety and the travel I cannot go to sleep.

I’m laying here wondering about tomorrow. What will she look like? Will I cry? Will I be strong. And in between that I’m thinking of how cool God is. How His hand is in everything.

Our Lyft driver was a 65 year old man who was pleasent and kind. And he was a sold out for Christ christian who basically took care of us. He took us through mcdonald’s. He showed us the sights. Told us what we were seeing as we drove by. He even shared his gospel christan music that he recorded himself. I wonder if he was an angel. It was the first time in the last 3 days that I felt totally calm and was able to just relax. I was so relaxed I said, can we stop to get a bite to eat? We got him a sweet tea. We talked about all kinds of stuff from Florida animals and bugs to the bald eagle we saw on our property in Indiana.

We told him how he was an answer to prayer as we were worried just who would be willing to drive us so far. How he was answer to prayer that we would get a nice God fearing man. He said…you are an answer to my prayers, as I was praying that I would get a long trip with better pay Tonight. God is so cool ya see?

Now if only I could sleep…

Palm trees in the mcdonald’s drive thru…lol

Top 5 posts of 2021 for A New Life

I snagged this idea from here https://wp.me/pPtKk-K1 CG Thelen. My fifth most viewed post was Amy’s I’m Back World. Posted Aug 2021.

Amy’s I’m Back World

A full month fast from WordPress was hard y’all. I especially missed reading your stuff and hearing your daily thoughts on the things of God and whatever else has been on your minds. A fast though, is what was needed to pull away from time stealers and better prepare myself for the start of school and activities the kids and I are in. We started school last week. We are doing a 4 day week and I am hopeful it will be a good school year. Abigail and I are taking Spanish, we’re just waiting on one more book to arrive. I took it in school, so I’m hoping to remember things as I go. We shall see! Lol

I mentioned in my last post briefly that I have decided to write my memoir. I thought if you write a full account of your life it’s your autobiography…but that’s for famous people! I also thought a memoir was an account of a single event in one’s life but I am not certain. Anyways I’ve decided to write a memoir starting from early memories and on. I believe I cannot truly describe my mistakes and actions without giving the background of where I came from that led me to those mistakes. And 9nce I’ve told my story I will be able to share of God’s endless mercy that He has shown me. I have already wrote about 16,000 words and have so much more to go.

For those of you who know my story, a question ❓❓ for ya. What do you think it would be like if I included my poems in the book? Like the poems that coincide with my past and inserting them during those times as I write? I’ve thought about it and think a few here and there would be okay. Maybe not one on every page, but then I think, who really reads and likes poetry? Do I run the risk of losing the audience’s attention? Feel free to comment.

Every one is feeling better here. Abigail has finished the meds for Lyme’s and is trying to grow up too fast! My husband is over Covid and we are all doing well.

A throw I made for my Aunt. Think of a sunflower 🌻
Did another for a very close kind friend, hey Mandy! This is with velvet yarn
I made this one for me! Called a mandala throw. I used striped yarn. I made this during our quarantine…
9 years old. Time flies
The new birthday bike that got lost on a FedEx truck, went back to the shipper and the shipper would not resend it. We had to reorder from a different source and FedEx got it here but late. She was a very good sport about it. It’s called Little Mismatched Bike
Shores of Lake Michigan
I photo-bombed this pic, my friend was trying to take of a storm rolling in.

Time’s Up

What if today was your last day

Before it vanishes; swept away

What if today is all you’ve got

Your last chance; your last shot

Knowing time is your enemy what would you do?

Would you find Someone Who could save you?

What if tomorrow was your end?

Time no longer your friend

What if your tomorrow was your today?

And there’s only now to give them your say

Knowing time is your enemy what would you do?

Would you find someone Who could save you?