I'm a stay at home wife and mother of 3. My oldest is 23 who lives at home because she is a delight and is autistic. My other 2 are in elementary school. They are all 3 girls. Raising an autistic daughter isn't the same as raising ones without. So it's like starting anew with some things. I will partly write about this.
I have overcome many addictions with the only Savior Jesus for 8yrs. I will also write partly on addiction and how I see it and overcame it.
I believe you will find my musings encouraging, helpful and sometimes a bit funny since I tend to be someone who holds nothing back.
The purpose of my blog at first was to use it as an outlet, a way to get things out of mind and onto paper. But it has turned into a place I can go to encourage others with a short story, poem or to simply talk and try to relate.
I just started blogging a month ago (April 2018) I wish I would've done it sooner! I promise to never try to sell you anything but Jesus' love. Be patient as this site may take on a few changes as I try to find my place in it and where I want it to go. I have many ideas swirling...stick around! Thanks for reading.
I got to thinking about this poem that I wrote last year, may it touch someone today
I’ve taken all my cares and threaded them through my hook One strong flick of the wrist is all it really took As the line took its flight over the big giant sea I watched my sins float on the forgetful waters merrily Like a mammoth whale you rose from the water’s deep And […]
We had our first Quiz meet Saturday where our team competes with other teams. (The meet we had in Dec was a retreat where each individual child was quizzed and scored) Our church has 3 teams. Our junior team placed 3rd! This is a big win for us! My abigail did great.
Here she is with one our beginner quizzers. They both got top individual score trophies. Putting the word of God in their hearts is the main goal. I try so hard not to be too competitive….I try. Lol
My Leah who is 7 and unique is not into bible quizzing and I’m ok with that. She is shy as far as getting up in front of a crowd. She recently became interested/ obsessed with dinosaurs, thanks to the show on Prime “Dinosaur Dana”. Leah spent part of last week trying to catch a Dinosaur by hanging a string of yarn with a chunk of her pancake attached at the bottom. Her sister took the chunk and wrote a note thanking Leah for the treat. I later found Leah crying. She was upset because she was never going to catch one; a baby T-rex, imagine that! I explained that there’s no way she could catch one since they’re extinct. I was thinking I was making it better on her because now she wouldn’t be disappointed in herself for not catching one. WRONG! Now she cried even harder because she didn’t know they were extinct and that she would never get to see one at all. Lol. Beautiful imagination. We forget as adults just how our kids see things. We also take for granted that our kids already know the things we know.
Doves is going strong. I recently was given a Cricut for free. It’s an older model but does the job. I cut out each of the girls’ names and little extras. Wrote the meaning of their names on cards and had them paste it all on construction paper. We bought the frames at the Dollar store. Every girl, young or adolescent, loves anything with her name on it. And if she can make it herself then that’s double the fun!
Still working on the hula hoop loom rugs. Some girls are experts already at it, while others get to weaving and weaving before we catch a problem and have to unravel half of it.
Homeschool is still going great. Abigail has started to learn how to read music. It’s amazing to watch a young bright mind pick up so easily on things. I keep having to stop and count back the letters to remember what the notes are while she’s on the floor playing and naming them off on a little keyboard!
My first grader Leah is plugging away. She is reluctant to learn more than she has to, but even she sees how far she’s come since we started school. I must constantly dangle a carrot in front of her most days to keep her going. She has come to realize it’s the way it is and she doesn’t have to like it, but she does have to do it.
I got an instant pot for Christmas from the best mother in law in the world! This is one appliance every kitchen should have! You can do anything in it! We’ve been having chicken and dumpling soup once a week lately. It’s just so yummy. Keto diet and I aren’t talking right now, as it’s Keto fault for being so difficult! (That’s denial talking y’all)
I’m doing well with all other things. I have my moments and my days, but don’t we all? I’m still trying to learn how to slow down and not plan too much too far…still a struggle though. Aside from learning about the rest in God’s presence we all need, I’ve been learning what it means to search out my own salvation with fear and trembling. What does my salvation in the Lord look like?
Something unique happened to me this past Sunday night. I want to share it with you because the more I think on it, the more I realize we could all remember the lesson I learned.
During our song service Sunday night at church I decided to sit for the second half of it. It had been a long weekend and a long day. I sit in the aisle seat of our pew. Years of getting up and down with kids requires it. When I open my eyes there’s someone standing there looking down on me. I realize it was a woman who has been baptized and filled with God’s spirit before. I worked with her and gave her a Bible study a few years ago. I tried so hard with her. She was an alcoholic, and that pulled her back to world after a few months of her trying.
Looking back, there were times I think I wanted her saved more than she did for herself. I remember investing so much thought and worry into her. I also remember that she reminded me of my mother in the way she went at life, the way she avoided being honest with herself.
I couldn’t reach out to her much after she slid backwards because I had to protect myself from the addictive behavior. Her personality was the exact type I would’ve partied with back in the day. I had to be careful.
So here she is standing before me with tears in her eyes. She said she drove by the church and decided to pull in. We hugged several times. Then I continued to stand and sing. She followed cue. She cried on and off. She was drunk. Not falling over drunk, but enough the whole area smelled of vodka.
She would cry and cry. I’d hand tissues and hug. Then she’d stop like it was a faucet, wipe her tears and smile and sing. It was frustrating for me. All I kept thinking was, ya drove here for a reason….go get it.
When it was time for the preaching, she sat, I sat. I didn’t know what to do. I just kept thinking let the preached word wash over her. Let it break down the walls she’s put up.
I dared to look over to see how she was doing, if she needed another tissue….she was asleep! So I started amen-ing louder than I usually do so that she would jerk awake. I was afraid she’d snore, or plop over on pew, or on me. Oh Lord what do I do? Lord what was the point in her showing up if not to jump all in?
God reminded me in that moment of the times I was drunk. How I’d have a remorseful heart about something or someone. He reminded of the several hasty decisions I made while drunk. Decisions made based on wholly emotion with no thought.
She hadn’t thought it through. She hadn’t been planning on showing up. She just took a left into the parking lot. She was hurting, she was tired. A daily drinking habit is very exhausting on the body. She needed rest. And when the preached word came across that pulpit it calmed the storm in that woman and gave her rest. Something we should seek the next time we sit in church. Not so much to konk out or nod off, but that we purposely find peace in our hearts.
The church, my church, even yours, should be an oasis to those who may just need a rest. They should feel comfortable to come in and rest in God’s presence. Because maybe, just maybe one time they’ll come in after taking thought on it. And we the church need to be ready to receive them no matter what state they’re in. I am guilty of looking upon her in confusion, judgement, wondering why she showed in the first place. But when I hit my head on my pillow that night, God showed me…in His presence not only is there liberty but there is rest.