Temporal or Eternal

Around and around you’ve been spinning

Lying to them all, you know they’re not winning

With your vastness and your mighty tilt

They say you’re innocent holding no guilt

Running after the things of you blindly they follow

Don’t they see what you’re offering is shallow?

They call you Mother and they call you home

And for happiness to the ends of you they’ll roam

In their green houses; a worldly affair

They worship you as if you care

I don’t wanna gain you and lose my soul

I’ve been down that road, played that role

Someday soon they will all see

Every tongue confessing on bended knee

You will pass away on that hallelujah day

When our bridegroom comes to carry us away

Another Amy’s World

Hi all. Time is ticking so quickly around here lately. Seems like my children are growing before my very eyes. Like my mother in law always says, we need to put a brick on their heads. If only that would work.

It’s been an eventful week around here. Last Friday night my family and I were about to pull in our drive when we saw one of our cats ran over in the road. So we drove past and sure enough, it was Donald our orange kitty that showed up about 6 or 8 months ago on our doorstep. None of our cats are indoor cats. My youngest is allergic. But that doesn’t keep our girls from loving them and caring for them outside. We even have a kitty door for them on our pole barn door.

My Abigail, 11yrs old, cried her heart out. I mean the kind of cry we’ve all may have experienced when first hearing of a lost loved one. The repeated, “No, not Donald. Why Donald?” Can you relate? I surely can. All the while we were riding and I could not climb in back and hug the child.

My husband went and got the cat and we buried her. We had a small funeral. Spoke some things and told some good memories. I was at a loss during this part. This was something that was never done for  my sister and I growing up. It was all my husband who dug the hole, encouraged the girls to step over and told them to speak of some good memories. He said he believes his mom taught him and his brothers this. I don’t doubt it.

I stood there thinking although my daughter’s heart was breaking, she was still very blessed to be in the family she is in.

The funny stories, you ask? Well my husband thought he was clever in naming the only boy on our property, Donald. After Trump, his hero. And The cat was orange just like trump. It was a win, win. Just one problem. See Donald showed up pregnant one day a few weeks ago. Undeniably pregnant. So all of this time we thought what we saw several months ago was evidence of a young boy kitten, was really not evidence at all.

But the cat came to Donald, so we kept it Donald. Lol…we started saying she instead of he. We’d giggle and tell our story to anyone who would to listen. She did have her kittens the weekend of April 9th. We could not find the kittens. Our guess was they were across the street. An hour after burying Donald, the neighbors came to our door to tell us they found kittens under some steps they just pulled out in order to put in a deck. 5 kittens. We also have one other cat who had kittens cpl weeks older. We introduced her to Donald’s kittens that very night and she nursed them. Just simply laid down and let them nurse. All the while she licked their heads and smelled them all.

My husband was amazed that the cat wasn’t scared off by the different scent than her own babies. He said look at this cat giving of herself more than some moms out in the world. Does make you wonder…She is now nursing 9 babies. Anyone need a kitten?

This did make Abigail happy, but the absence of Donald was still very hard on her. Sometimes I want to say, “It’s only a cat!” But I refrain because it was more than a cat to her.

I know what it is that makes Abigail so sad. She and I are alot alike. She never did trust being around animals much. Sure, she held cats and the such as an early child. As she grew she became frightened toward many animals. See with animals I tend to think to myself, you really just don’t know what an animal will do next. Yes I know many of you think, that’s silly, animals can be trained. Sometimes though fear can overtake the mind.

So when abigail got up the nerve to pick up a chicken, she automatically named it Bessie. When we brought home one of the cats we have now, Abigail’s fear of animals changed overnight. She was bold to pick up the cats now. And sometimes she would get scratched and her feelings would get hurt, but she would try again. See once she faced her fears, she became so proud of herself. So when she developed a friendship with Donald it was much more than that to her. It was and still is this treasure she found in herself to actually enjoy an animal.

It’s been a week now and she is doing better. We went to a small outing at the library where they had a couple horses the children could ride. A local Amish man brought his horse and buggy as well. I was so proud to see Abigail get in that horse. The first time she only got up and sat in the horse. When she got down she realized that she really needed to ride the horse as well. They allowed her a second time to be led around a few turns. I am so proud of her.

If you have a fear, think of Abigail and try to overcome it bit by bit.

Making Sense of it All

Image found on the internet

Why don’t they see Who You are?

Eyes closed, they run so far!

Can’t they hear the sands of time?

Ears stopped, convinced they’re just fine

Can’t they smell that Your mercy is new each day?

Their noses held high, arms crossed, with nothing to say

Oh Lord how can they not feel You all around?

Cold and hidden, thinking they cannot be found

Why don’t their mouths water for Your daily bread?

As they refuse to taste and see Your words in red

Anxiety, violence, fear and depression

They ignore it as they go about their newest obsession

My God smell the sweet savor of our praises

Hear loud and clear each one as it raises

Help them to see their sins, their offenses

And I pray for each of them to come to their senses

Amy’s Busy, Busy World

Hi all. Busy, busy as always. I’m doing well. Honestly, I am.

You know, it baffles me how people aren’t lining up at our church doors, banging to get in. To be saved. With all that is going on around us over the past year, how can they not? What more do people need? My mother in law and I were talking about this thought this week. What more proof do people need?

I spend alot of my extra thinking time in the what it’s of these days we live in. Not so much the terrifying things. More like, “If we are in the end times, how much does education matter anymore?” Or “If Jesus is coming soon do I need to concern myself with a new car?” “Will my girls become mothers?”

Maybe we’ve all entertained these type of thoughts in recent months. With my big imagination, sometime I annoy myself. Then I think to myself and imagine God up there shaking His head, chuckling at me. Wagging His big finger saying, “Amy, remember I come as a thief in the night. No man knows the hour or the day.” So I go back to living normal life until my imagination gets started again.

School is 3/4 of the way over. I have purchased their books for next year. I’m looking forward to tailoring their next year’s education more to their abilities and interests. I’ve been reading aloud to them the Rush Revere books. Written by the late Rush Limbaugh, set in modern day. There’s 5 books spanning over the times of the Mayflower to the Revolutionary War. Set in modern times, a history teacher named Rush Revere has a time travelling horse named liberty. The horse talks, makes jokes and has the ability to hold his breath and make himself invisible. The history teacher and a few students time travel to key events in the making of our country.

I’ve come to enjoy this reading time with the girls. I use my deep voice when a man is speaking, or a little kid voice when needed. The girls really seem to enjoy it and beg for another chapter once our daily alloted chapter has been read. I hope this gives them a deeper love for reading.

Bible quizzing is going strong. As of now there are 10 teams in our Indiana division. We are currently placing third and sometimes 2nd in the state! Keep us in prayer as we try for a spot to Nationals.

Such hard work pays off. These kids can quote scripture on a dime. She’s on a team of 5…
Easter 2021…in person church was nice compared to last year’s Drive-in church.
We travelled to Bloomington, Il to compete with other teams from other states. The kids had fun meeting new friends
I made this for our pastor’s wife’s birthday. Photographing crocheted items is hard! Where’s Vanessa when I need her?

Be His

Image found on the internet

Where do you go when you have nowhere to turn?

Looking behind, watching your bridges burn

Just how do you think you got yourself here?

As the world looks at you with an angry sneer

Where to will you run to hide from it all?

To a high ledge with nothing to break your fall?

Where ya gonna go to find what you lack?

With nothing left but the clothes on your back

Where will you go to save your soul?

When the legacy you’ve been left is an empty hole

Left with no map and no keys

Where can you find answers to put your turmoil at ease?

Some say He’s a Strong Tower

Some say only He has all power

Others say He a Father and a Friend

The map says He’s the beginning and the end

Run to the Tower, run to The Friend

Run to The Alpha, run to The End

There’s no love like His love He will show up, you’ll see

Teach you, shield you, as you finally become free

Image found on the internet

Voices

Amen to this!

#
PrayerJourney People speak to me and tell me who to be. They try to cloth me with something that covers who I am in you dear God…

Voices

At The End of the Day

Where are you off to now lost soul?

Didn’t they share with you their goal?

Running, turning back and forth

Didn’t they tell what you are worth?

Lost soul just where will you go?

Hiding from His presence, can’t be so

He’s everywhere, anywhere all the time

No remote cliff that you could climb

No dark valley that He can’t illuminate

Stop running and begin to communicate

Lost soul you do belong…

No matter what you’ve done wrong

If anyone knows your pain, I do

If anyone knows what you could gain, I do

Lost soul, I once was you without a clue

Searching but hiding, staying but running

I see your future, and it could be stunning

Your path is set before you, which way?

For it is your choice at the end of the day

I Believe

My name is Bruce and I am just an ordinary Christian. This post is NOT addressed to my fellow Christians. I am writing this post in the hope that someone who is not a Christian will come across it, read it and consider. This is Easter Sunday but it’s not just another day. We all […]

I Believe

Amy’s What in the World, World…

Hi all. I’m running out of titles for my Amy’s World posts…This one is fitting though.

I’m ok. I know many of you may be wondering, but really I’m ok. I’ve been waiting for the bottom to fall out over the loss of my mother, but it hasn’t. I’ve toyed with the idea of sharing these thoughts in my blog, but I’ve realized, when have I ever held back? And where does the healing come in if I hold back?

Ever wonder about someone in your family that has nothing? I mean, no job, no insurance, no life insurance, those kinds of things. What will come of them? Well this is where I found myself concerning my mother. She had a van but didn’t drive it. And it wasn’t in any shape to last. She rented and was on Medicare and disability. I’m not saying anything is wrong with these helps available. Don’t get me wrong.

She spoke often of a small life insurance package over the years prior to our not speaking. She would play this beneficiary game with my sister and I and others around her. Taking names on and off depending on how they were treating her. (Or so she said)

I felt bad for the man of the phone sitting in his office, typing in my mother’s info…he didn’t want to tell me that all of 30$ was left for her cremation. I was so angry to hear this. Not because I wanted any money for my pocket, but rather for the expenses it would cost.

What I’ve learned is this…having your wishes for DNR or otherwise put into place is a huge weight off your loved ones’ shoulders. Having a small policy together to cover costs of burial/cremation would really help.

It’s been 2 weeks and she has not been cremated. The mortuary where she is is nice and friendly on the phone. But there’s paperwork to be done. So they say. They helped me apply for her to be approved for a burial for the indigent. The county will pay for her cremation. My husband and I could pay, but it would take a dent out of what we have.

The advice I was given here was, this lack of life insurance was on her not you, Amy. That’s what I’m sticking with, telling myself this. So the process is slower. And I can’t demand they cremate her right this minute and ship me the ashes because it’s being done for free, so I will wait. In the waiting are some morbid thoughts, because I have this huge overactive imagination…I shove them to the side and simply say to God, I need her cremated so this can be over.

Honestly, it’s over. The fear of her showing up, the fear of her making another embarrassing phone call to start trouble is over. There is a relief that I haven’t ever felt. Not many of you can understand these words. But maybe some of you know someone who can. Do not judge them, it’s not an easy road.

My sister was close to mom. This loss has been hard on her. But for me? I’m good. I’m ok. Then I feel bad for being ok. Then it’s starts over again. Then I pray to God, I need her cremated. And so on.

Statistically, I should still be an addict, roaming around at night from bar to bar. Statistically, I should be smoking anything I can light and snorting anything I can sniff. Statistically, I should be manipulative and dishonest. Because that’s what I was shown. But ya know what? God takes the statistics and tosses them right out of the window when we surrender to Him. His will, His way.

I know the reason I had to be the one to make decisions for a woman who hurt me time and time again. The reason I had to drop everything, fly across the country and see a sight that is burned into the images of my brain when I saw her laying in that bed, hooked up to those machines. The reason is I’ll be made stronger.

How I wish I was stricken with grief over a mom who loved me unconditionally. I wish it hurt because then I’d know there was something there to miss, but there’s not. Sadly.

The one thought that remains, after I get the looping thoughts to subside, “She’s gone. There are no more chances to get it right for her.” The finality of death can be so overwhelming to us believers, can’t it? There’s no more chances to come to God. So many unbelievers, that refuse to serve God, automatically start talking about heaven and how their lost loved one is in heaven walking streets of gold and all is well. If only it were that easy, but it’s not. Coming to God, surrendering can be a very hard thing to do, but when you do it the love that fills you comes in so easily.

Shining Truth

Wondering again about You tonight

Just how do You shine so bright

Does love really illuminate You so?

Does it make us mere humans, too, glow?

I wonder if you live beyond the sun

93 million miles away…if only I could run

This crazy world makes me feel so far

From the truth of who they really are

A human isn’t a human anymore

Call a girl, a girl and they show you the door.

What do You think at the end of each day

As Your loved people don’t even get a say

Vegeance is Yours, it always has been

And it’s Your call to say exactly when

Until then keep lighting up our skies

Shining Your truth upon this world’s lies