Amy’s World

Hi all. I find many drafts of where I have started to write a post to update you all but I never finish them. Some of you have been faithful readers and friends on here and I feel as though I have abandoned you. I know most of you have struggled to keep up with your own blog writing amidst trials and busyness of life and that gives me hope of your understanding.

I wrote down half of a poem but it is pretty dark and depressing, lol. So it sits with the others that didn’t make the cut.

I did send my book to a publisher of my choice. I do know it will be a huge surprise if they take it on. But I really wanted to try even if the odds are low. Just so I can say to myself that I tried. There’s nothing wrong with self-publishing and it surely seems to be the way for the majority. Still I wanted to try. I may try another house should this one say no. It’s like the 5k I ran years back. I got it in my head to do it and I trained myself to run long distance. I ran the 5k and was done with running forevermore! But I cam always say to myself I ran it and I know what it takes.

I am up very late tonight waiting for a call from an on-call surgeon resident. My husband has been very sick the last two days and I am beside myself fretting away. He had to have retroperitoneal lymph node dissection. A very intense surgery where they removed 82 lymph nodes! 82! Who knew there were that many to even take out? The good news is only 3 out of all of them had cancer.

We got him home to begin the healing process after a 3 day hospital stay, for him to turn around and become very ill with stomach digestion issues. He went back to the ER this past morning for fluids and is now back at it. Seems like he can’t catch a break lately. He’s down about it all and honestly just too weak tonight to care one way or another about much.

I keep remembering what my.pastor said few weeks back. Side note: Funny how we can listen to 40 mins of someone talking and grab that nugget and hold to it with all of our might. I sure am grateful for those nuggets of truth to help us.

He said, “We don’t need to beg God. We can come to Him boldly in prayer, asking in faith.”

It was the most freeing statement for me. Once that thought was in my mind, I came to realize just how much I beg God. Daily. Sometimes, hourly. “Please, God, please just do this or that”  I have put a stop to it the most I can. Until days like the last few days. “Please God, he has to keep some fluids down. Please God just put a stop to this so he can get to feeling better.” Almost like a frantic chant rolling through my brain.

Do you find what I write familiar? Did you used to do this until you matured in your faith? Do you disagree with the notion of begging amd think we should be able to come to God however we choose?

I do think He hears any old prayer that comes from us. Whispered on our pillows, chanted in our minds never reaching our lips, to strained words pouring out through our tears of frustration, I think He hears it all. But the advice about coming boldly to God helps me so! Coming boldly gives us a strength that we have to conjure up. Coming boldly means we have to step outside of our emotions, and be purposeful of what we say.

That is all I have for now. Those of you that had us on your prayer list…thank you!


27 Replies to “Amy’s World”

  1. “He said, “We don’t need to beg God. We can come to Him boldly in prayer, asking in faith.”

    Yes! The good Lord has brought me to that point! I no longer beg-I ask with faith -KNOWING and BELIEVING that HE knows what the best answer is for our prayer to Him!
    Bless your heart, Amy!! Keep your faith and keep speaking to Him *any time any where! We both know HE heals our broken hearts with the faith only HE can gives us through Jesus finished work for us 🙌🙏🏻❤️

    *When people say that others have shut down prayer in public places that’s not true we can pray where ever we are any time in silence with out drawing attention to ourselves! He hears us-HE IS GOD!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Amy, you and your husband and family are in our daily prayers. I do beg the Lord at times. I look at it as fervent prayer. 🤷‍♀️ May the Lord’s healing hand be upon your husband and may he flood your home with his peace.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You all are in my thoughts and prayers. One thing I continue to learn is that although our eyes may not be able to see it right now, God is always working. Be encouraged my dear friend 🤍

    Liked by 1 person

  4. When I think of prayer, I think of the psalms. David poured out his heart, in all its passions and emotions. Ps 66 is a good one; the only mention when God does not listen to our prayers, in this psalm, is v 18: “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me”
    Other mention of God not listening to our prayers all refer to when His people turn away from Him.
    So yeah, God hears all your prayers, all mine, all of His people’s. We must remain faithful.
    So many prayers lifted for your dear husband and for you and all your family. How are your kids and mother in law doing?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mother in law has been a huge help. She took him to the ER while I did school yesterday. I’m trying to make things seem usual around here, but there’s no foolin the kids. They stay quiet and go in the other room when it is needed. They give daddy hugs when he us upright and with it. He’s been out of it for a week now, it seems. They aren’t used to seeing their dad vulnerable amd I think in the long run it will build character for us all. Thanks for the prayers!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sounds like your plate is full to overflowing. Give yourself grace as you struggle through this season of different priorities. I’ve done my fair share of begging, but I think God understands when it’s what’s on your heart. I also think He’d rather have you begging than thinking you can’t talk to Him. Faith isn’t a destination but a process, a learning process, and sometimes we take steps back and repeat. May God bless you and your husband and those caring for him.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Amy, you and your hubby and girls are still in my prayers. I’m glad your hubby is somewhat better. 🙌🏼🙏🏼
    Concerning what you said about begging God, when I discovered that truth, it was so freeing for me. We must believe when we go to Him, He hears, no matter what He does in the situation. The outcome is up to Him, but the believing and having faith is our part.
    I totally am with you with the 50 billion unfinished posts in my drafts. 🤦‍♀️ Life has been hard, no doubt. When the timing is right, we will finish them, right? Love you friend.💜

    Liked by 1 person

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