Fixated on Fixing

Do you find that in your lowest moments of life is where you find your inspiration to write? If you’re not a writer, do you find in your trials is when you gather a strength you didn’t know you had? In these times, do you find your faith grow?

I am a fixer. I have always been a fixer. My dearly departed friend used to remind me of this often. Although it would make me so irritated when she seemed to insult me with her words; what I wouldn’t give to hear her say them today. Back then I thought it was noble of me to be a fixer. To see other’s needs and try to find answers. Now I see how exhausting it can be. I guess she knew a thing or two. Maybe in this case, it took one to know one.

When faced with a medical problem, do you fixate on it? Do you try to find the origin of the issue. Like when the pain all began. Do you, like me, search for logical, easy answers to solve your medical issue so you can get on with life?

Maybe it’s your marriage. Do you go through the reel of memories to find the moment it all went wrong? Ask others for advice or read all the latest books on how to save your marriage.

Have you ever been in a financial fix and have no clue where the money will come from? Unemployment agencies returning your calls, while you are digging through your things to throw a garage sale to save your behind. All the while you are scrambling to find the answer to fix the issue.

I am this person. No, my marriage is not falling apart. The finances are in the black as well. My health could be worse. I’m dealing with some back pain along with menopausal stuff. No matter what it is, though, I am a fixer. Always have been.

Are you, or do you know those type of people with tremendous faith? The type that do not complain and voice their worries, but rather you hear them say God will handle it, no problem. Just how do they do it? This is a rhetorical question I am asking, for I know it is faith and years of giving it to God that brings them to this place of certainty.

But seriously, how do they do it? While God is always with me, on my mind, and in my heart daily, I still try to find my way through my problems without Him.

Sure wish I was to that point of tremendous faith in my life. The need to fix others has left me for the most part. I used to find myself often in conversation wracking my brain for an answer to a problem that is not mine. This is freeing because it is one thing to have compassion on a friend and pray for them, but it’s quite another to think you have answers to their problems. But the need to fix my problems is still very present. It’s the mere definition of insanity. I think I can fix me so I try. I never do fix me. Same thing, same result.  It is always God who does the fixing.  In His gentle reminding. In His way of bringing those who love you around to help you. Whether it be because you cannot bend to pick something up so they help you. He brings a check in the mail or a rich uncle dying leaving you just enough money to get out of that hole.

We often think, while we are in our fixing, that we have seen all possible outcomes of a situation until our God steps up. He has a way of of making His will clear.  We jist need to sit back and let Him do His thing.

Image found in the internet