You know, I hate to even capitalize enemy up there in the title, but proper English is something we writers just gotta have. I am hoping this post helps another….
I am 99% sure I have been getting attacked by the enemy. (There, now he doesn’t get his capital letter!) I wanted to write a poem to tell him and his goons off, but the pain I’ve been dealing with has taken my creativity away for today. Can I simply talk you? Can you relate?
While the world around me is covid crazy with this new strand, I’ve been dealing with odd, unusual, for me, health junk.
It first started with my gallbladder giving me pressure and then pain in late September. Then I had a colonoscopy to check on the ibs I’ve had all my life. I waited on the gall bladder surgery for a month. I was told it’s a piece of cake. After.4 days you should be good.
I came out of the surgery extremely nauseous and out of it feeling. It took many hours to come around enough to stand and go home. After those 4 days, I continued to have high levels of post operative pain. If I could just lay flat for a couple weeks and not move is what I thought to myself most days. It took 3 weeks to get back to where I didn’t have to take Advil to get through a day. So much for a piece of cake.
There would then be something here or there. A headache, a bad menstrual cycle complete with all the perimenopause symptoms you could think of. Two weeks ago one Thurs morning I woke and walked to the kitchen. I fell into the wall. I was spinning so wildly that I somewhat scaled the wall feeling my way back to my bed. From there, I could not lift my head off the pillow or roll over without a severe feeling of spinning to the point of becoming nauseous.
The last two days I’ve spent in intense pain in neck. I get a neck and shoulder cramp once a year or so, but never to the point of walking the living room crying. Here I am tonight laying on a heating pad after spending a day with a Tens unit attached to my neck. (Those sure do alleviate the pain while on but do not rid you of the pain)
I’ve been mad today. Discouraged today. Fed up today. I know some of it is consequences of choices I’ve made. I shouldn’t have sat so long the other night hunched over working on a crochet project. And had I not ate like I did all those years, my gallbladder wouldn’t have needed removed. The vertigo was a result of being out on my side during that surgery…so the doctor said that day. But the intensity of each even is where I know I’m being attacked.
My thought today was this….”So this is how the spirit of infirmity really works. It paralyzes you with physical pain, mental worry over that pain, and spiritually drains you if you’re not staying prayed up”
That is your word of encouragement. That paragraph above. Sometimes half the battle is just knowing what you’re fighting, I guess.
I’m not going to give up on loving God, chasing God wholeheartedly, and telling others what He’s done for me. He always gets a capital letter no matter where he is in my writing! He sees me, He knows me, and He loves me. He has not left me and He knows what I’m capable of handling. So tomorrow is hope that this pain in the neck is gone and I can continue to be about my Father’s business.