To stress or not to stress…that my dear is the question.
To my poor mother in law who has heard all of this already, I’m sorry you now have to read it too😀
I’ve learned something significant about stress over the last month; particularly the last 2 weeks that I’d like to share with you that may help one of you.
As soon as school started, my world around me opened up at the same time. My responsibilities that had been on hold due to the virus, were now all on the table. My schedule went from slow to busy in zero to sixty. I also lost two friends in that amount of time which I’ve shared with you all. Your comments to my poems and thoughts were so kind and helpful. Truly, thank you. Sad to think I ever wanted to walk away from the blogosphere! Glad y’all didn’t kick me out either!
About a month go I would get to the end of the day and be somewhat confused with my speech. I’d look at something, point at it, and simply have no word for it. I’d stumble through a sentence trying to bring to my lips what my mind was telling me. My mind was going faster than my mouth could handle. Then I’d tell myself, Amy, you sat for so many months waiting for life to get going again. You’re here, appreciate it, and keep going.
Honestly, I wonder how many of us deceive ourselves in this manner. Like it’s ok to be overwhelmed because you wanted this, now you’ve got it.
Or I wonder how many of us get our plates so full, yet feel as if they’re still half empty because we aren’t achieving the exact dreams we had planned. So we keep piling and piling trying to fulfill something that may never be in God’s will for us anyhow. That rant right there will be better explained at another date.
The icing on the cake of stress came 2 weeks ago today. I got in my car and started out for the next store but I somehow lost some time. I didnt close my eyes. I didn’t go off the road, I simply blanked out and don’t remember most of the street I was going down. But when I came to, I did not know where I was. It was all foreign to me. This is a road I travel frequently. I said out loud, “where am I?” And within moments I got with it and made my way to the store parking lot. I knew, just knew it was from stress. But I allowed fear and my overactive imagination to tell me other things. What if it’s dementia/alzheimers? Runs in my family. Oh my goodness what if it was a stroke?
Good old fashioned stress. My mind just completely had enough.
I slowed down from that next day on. The days go by so slowly these past two weeks and have been so helpful. I could slowly feel the tension leave my body over a few days time.
I guess what I want to pass on to you is that stress relief is possible if your mindful about it. Because stress can have some pretty hard effects on you.
I also want to leave with you that if you’re like me, you want to be everything to everyone. But at the end of the day you lose yourself in the daunting, exhausting task of trying to please others. I’ve done this for so many years. Number one, it’s not possible. Number two, that desire comes from a place inside that is lacking something that needs to be resolved.
Pleasing God should be enough for each of us.