This next repost follows yesterday’s poem I wrote on the lack of a mother figure in my life. This is a post I dedicated to who I now call mom. Many of you have read it but you for newcomers to my blog, you will appreciate this woman as I describe her to you.
Do You Recognize These Women?
In order for me to tell you about the best mother of all, you must know about my real mother. She was careless with me. She abandoned me several times and kept me at arm’s length when she was around.
All I wanted as a child was a mom. I would go to mine time and time again only to be batted away like a pesky housefly. (Little did I know how that behavior would influence me on finding a man to love me properly.) There were never trips to the mall or meals out to eat with her. There were no secrets whispered or long talks late into the night on how to help me with my social skills and my insecurities. There were no hugs but a handful. And those were awkward quick hugs that left me wondering what was wrong with me. There was no “Oh I picked this up for you or thought you might need that” kind of conversations. There was her and never me.
I would let go of that need and longing for her in my teens. But I would start a habit of attaching myself onto my friend’s moms. Which wasn’t always helpful when that mom wasn’t much better than the one I was trying to replace.
But God restored to me a mom! My husband’s mother. And if no one reads this post but her then I’ve done a good job; her opinion is what matters in the end to me.
There’s the caring mom, the faithful mom, the prayerful mom as I posted yesterday. But the mom I have now far above exceeds any of this I’ve described. The reason is, she’s my mom. She loves me unconditionally! Seriously, she does. She prays for me, she cheers me on, she’s gentle towards me and she simply loves me. Mostly she was the main influence in bringing me to Jesus.
Took me many years to see that her love was just that and only that…love. She would buy me a shirt and I would worry and wonder why. Did my clothes not measure up? Was she controlling and trying to make me dress the way she liked? She would pick up food items, extras for us when she found a good sale on something. For me, I’m trying to figure why would she buy us food? Does she think we need more food in our cupboards? Did I not buy her son’s favorite food, so she was getting it for him? Strange, odd behavior to me. What was even more strange was she would actually want to spend time with our kids! Yeah you heard me rght. And when she was with them, she was enjoying herself. Who does this kind of stuff? I didn’t know. I never had experienced that before. But as time went on and God changed me, cleaned me out and filled me up, I began to see that these acts, are acts of love♡. And I began to trust her. And love her.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you were to set your bar, to her bar you’d have a hard time reaching, I guarantee you that. I do strive everyday to try to be more like her.