But, God…

Waking in a pool of sweat, drenching the deteriorating body. Each pore releasing the poisons that swim within.

Shaky, uncontrolled hands come straight to the face, wipe the sleepy coma from the eyes.

Eyes shoot open. As the bloodvessles show their brilliant hues of red around the iris, pupils dilate to let in unwanted light.

A high-pitched constant ring fills the ears. The rythmic pounding the heart tapping out a cadence on the ear drum.

A quiet thought comes from way back in the corner of the mind getting bigger, louder until it slams the forefront of the frontal lobe…

The thought speaks booming words…”You used! You relapsed. You failed! Awe, man, not again!”

Questions come next, whispered lies from the deceiver.

“Why did you do that?” 

“Why didn’t you say no?”

“Why can’t you stop?”

“Why don’t you give up trying?”

“Why don’t you end it all?”

A false solution comes. Must get more to quiet these thoughts. Must get more to feel in control.

Addiction has no respect. Addiction sees no color, gender, or heritage. It can happen to anyone. The cycle seems endless and there is a powerlessness that makes the individual feel hopeless.

Seems these days so many have the answers to healing addiction. But in all reality no one does but God.

New Living Translation
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corth 10:13

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 1 Corth 12:9 NIV


18 Replies to “But, God…”

    1. Yes God was the only way I climbed out the hole of addiction 8 years ago. Had to give it all to Him. I was wanting to portray what relapse feels like for the addict so we can have compassion for the addicts we love

      Liked by 3 people

  1. Oh,wow! God, the Holy Spirit, brought the same phrase–“But God”–yet, with different applications, to both our minds today! How cool is that? So thankful that God makes the impossible possible…and that He can heal and restore us! This is a beautiful reminder of that both to those who struggle with substance addictions or even all who daily battle their sin nature. Thank you for this wonderful post! God bless you and your writing greatly! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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