When you whispered that lie, made everyone think it worse than it was…I forgive you.
When you stole those pills from her medicine cabinet and tried to convince me you needed them….I forgive you.
All the times you called me fat and all the times you made me feel unworthy, not good enough…I forgive you.
The trips I spent with you behind the wheel drunk, swerving the roads, almost passing out, putting my life in danger…I forgive you.
When you let me be hurt by her…
When you let me be ignored by him…
When you told me to go to that office, Twice!
When you told me to wait one more day before going to the E.R….
When you told me that taking those pills everyday would somehow numb the pain you caused…I Forgive You!
I forgive you because I love you and I’m ready to take care of you and work with you and not against you.
If you can identify with this poem and can truly say, “Yeah, I need to forgive myself” then you are on the precipice of a breakthrough in your life! I have recently forgiven myself for the things mentioned in my short poem, and for much more.
So many of us are walking this life holding onto pain and regret. We are talking down to ourselves; calling ourselves names we wouldn’t even call a dog. God has forgiven you, but you haven’t forgiven you. It is possible to forgive yourself. It is possible to get beyond regret and pain caused by yourself and/or pain caused by others that you feel you allowed somehow, so you blame yourself.
I once heard a young man preach a sermon he named “Scuba-diving in the blood” Basically the concept was, when God has forgiven us and covered our sin with the blood he spilt on Calvary…we then go diving into the blood to find that old sin and bring it back out, wipe it off and start all over again with it. When we don’t forgive ourselves after God has forgiven us……. that’s what we’re doing. Makes you ponder doesn’t it?