If we want to see our addicted loved ones set free we must get real with ourselves by stepping into their shoes. Let’s take a look at ourselves for a moment to see if we can find ways to relate.
How many times in a day do we tell ourselves no? Or should I ask how many times in a day should we tell ourselves no, but simply don’t. Example, today I should’ve told myself no to Wendy’s, pretzels, peanut butter, and the strawberry shortcake that I inevitably will eat after dinner…
4 hours later…I ate the strawberry shortcake!
Maybe it’s not food that we have a hard time setting boundaries on. Maybe it’s: Facebook, lottery tickets, television, clothes, spending in general. Am I getting too real? I don’t mean to be too harsh or hit below the belt, but think about the one (some of us have many) thing you just can’t stop yourself from doing. Got it? Ok now, what happens the moments after? Here’s some of my self dialog…”Ugh why did I eat that? I shouldn’t have eaten that. Well the diet is ruined today.” Here’s where we see the shame we get sucked into. Next comes this thought process for me…”Tomorrow I stick to the calories I have alotted myself. No going over. Tomorrow I do better” This to me seems like a way to feel better. A plan is set into place and I’m ready for tomorrow! But tomorrow is pretty much the same as today with some excuses thrown in.
That up there that you just read, is similar to our addicted loved one’s thinking. Food, lottery tickets, spending can all be considered serious addictions. I’m simply using those as examples for some of us that aren’t bound by them, but surely are influenced by them. If we, the free, have a hard time with the simple things of our lives, just imagine the thought process for the drug addicted. I remember when I was so addicted to vicodin, I went to bed every night with a plan to quit the next day. But when the morning came I was on the phone calling dealers or driving around trying to find them.
The gnawing in my gut was a real, true feeling for me. I remember always comparing it to a monster that I had to feed.
Folks, we’ve got to get real with ourselves and our addicted loved ones. We can love them and treat them with respect, without enabling them.
I know of many who are addicts who don’t try, who don’t have a plan for tomorrow. They have disappointed themselves so may times that they have given up. You know someone like this too, I’m sure. But there are some living around us who do desire to be free. We should cheer them on. Be on their side and love them, not push them away for the fact that they (like most of us) can’t tell themselves no.