I walk into a night club on ladie’s night. The place is packed with dancing, laughing people. The music is thumping so hard that I can feel it in my chest. The air is thick with ciggarette smoke and mist coming from the fog machine. I can smell sweat and alcohol on the air that’s barely moving above me. I look down and see abandoned empty beer bottles, ciggarette butts and empty plastic shot cups, that were once filled with tonics with names like liquid cocaine, lemon drop, and Alabama slammer. I make my way to the dance floor area, pushing and squeezing my way through bodies that reluctantly move an inch for me. I receive looks that range from disgust to enticement. But I don’t respond. I’m looking for someone. “I’ve got to find her, she’s got to be here,” I think to myself. I know there’s nowhere else she’d be on a night like tonight. I’m sure she got a babysitter for her 4 year old daughter since it isn’t her ex-husband’s weekend due to the custody agreement. And ladie’s night means she would get in free, so she’d be here since she’s always just getting by financially. Where could she be? She’s not on the dance floor or the bathrooms. There’s 2 other places she could be; the parking lot smoking a joint in a car with strangers or at the bar ordering a drink with money she talked someone into giving her.
I walk to the bar. I can’t even see the bartender because of the throng on people leaning against the bar waiting for the bartender’s attention. I see her! She’s slender in a pair of tight jeans and tight shirt. She no doubt is wearing her clothes tight fitting for the purpose of catching a man’s eye. Her hair is short and dyed a dark color with hints of red in it. Her make up is running and smeared from from so many hours of sweating.
I make my way to her and I lightly tap on her shoulder. She turns quickly and I can see the state of drunkeness on her face. She looks at me with contempt. With tired, insecure eyes. But I see a hint a hope in them as well.
I say, “Excuse me, but I have to warn you! A few years from now you’ll give birth to still born twins. And after you pretend to get over that, you will make decisions that you will regret all your life. You’ll hear the lies from the pit of hell telling you that it’s ok. It will take you almost twenty years to look in the mirror without the heavy shame you’ll feel. You will believe the lie whispering in your ear everyday that what you did is the most unforgivable sin and that God will never shine His face on you. You will become an addict, stumbling and fumbling through your days trying to get money for another pill to dull the pain. It will take you 20 years of your life to learn how to get past the shame of what you have done. Come with me, I’ll show you the way to Jesus now. He can save you from all the things to come. You don’t have to go down this road.”
She looks at me, smiles in her friendly way and says, “I’m 24 years old and I’ve got my whole life ahead of me. I am a good person and I would never do those things. You have mistaken me for someone else”
I recently was faced with a profound thought…If the older you could go back and warn the younger you; would the younger you listen to you? I am eternally grateful for a God who never stops loving. Never stops forgiving. He forgives every sin. He even forgives those who listened to the lies whispered in their ears.
Wow this brought tears to my eyes! If only we could go back and talk to our younger selves .
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I’m 43 kaleidoscope. I didn’t get clean until 35 . many regrets but I am sober 8 years! You are very open and you’re real and honest with yourself. Those are key to getting clean. Your kids are key too. Use your blog everda y if you have to. If you follow others they will follow you back. Follow !e and you’ll get notifications when I lost a new post
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Thank you! I’m still figuring out how this all works. I can’t even begin to imagine 8 years! That is incredible. How do I follow you please?
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Go into my blog. Should be at the top near the name and number of followers. Tap on “follow” then you’ll get notifications on you home screen. Tap on the little bell top right corner that shows you who likes your posts and who is following you
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You have 5 followers already! You can tap on their names and look at their blogs and follow them too.
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This gave me tears! THANK GOD FOR HIS MERCY!! I have 7 children and 4 grand children~I have a set of identical twins that have Down Syndrome and one is also Autistic! GOD IS GOOD AND LIFE WITHOUT JESUS IS EMPTY~NULL~AND VOID!!
❤ ❤ ❤
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Wow, this was powerful! I not sure the younger me would’ve listened to the older me 😔
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I know! I never thought about it until a guy at church said that to me.
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Thanks for reading. I’m about to hit the treadmill and read your blog. Looking forward to it!
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My pleasure! I’ve been enjoying it! 😊
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Wow! That is one of the questions I asked on my Mystery Blogger post. You have a powerful testimony Amy that everyone needs to hear! My oldest daughter has faced a drug problem in the past…I pray God uses you for His kingdom!
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And I pray God uses your daughter as well! All things work together for the good
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This Moma is definitely standing on the promise that her girls will come back to the Lord! They both do have a calling on their lives.
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So powerful. Wow!
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Thanks!
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Wow, a powerful blog post! I’m so happy you found Jesus, but He is much, much happier, I’m sure!
Hugs and blessings~💖
P. S. I just found your blog and have been reading and liking the posts. I will stop for now so your feed won’t become too full!
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Read on if you wish! If you want to read my full testimony of what I’ve been through it’s titled the whole truth there are 3 or 4 posts to it.
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I will do that, thank you!
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Wow! I must apologize sis! I should have gone back and read your older posts once we started following each other. This is powerful!
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Don’t apologize silly! When I was first asked that question I first thought “yes I’d listen to the older me” but as I kept thinking on it, I knew I never would have. We never know what is waiting around the corner…and we never know how it will shape us as God works all things together for our good
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You’re right. I know I wouldn’t have listened because at the age that I would want to go back and talk to couldn’t fathom the thought of what happened later. He wasn’t that person…yet.
I’m thankful I’m not the man I used to be but I also know that had I not gone through all that I would not be who I am now.
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Well said brother
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